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Saturday, May 8, 2021

Just A Mom


Never have I felt more like "just a mom" than this year.
With the lockdowns, and distance learning, no eating out, no playdates, and no going anywhere - it has just been a lot of mundane, and a lot of simply surviving.

I was feeling reflective, and looked back on some of the things I'd written about motherhood in the past, and came across another time I'd felt like "just a mom", and what I had written 5 years ago still rang true, so I thought I would share these thoughts with you in case you needed to read them, too.

Being a mom - especially a mom during a global pandemic - can feel like an invisible and thankless job. It can be hard to feel like others can relate to us, and so many things that are out there as resources for people don't apply to us. Sometimes, it can feel like that with the Bible too. It's full of prophets, kings, a queen or two, male disciples, soldiers... you get the picture. Most of the people we read about are men, and even when it IS a woman, her motherhood - or at least the minutia of her motherhood - isn't mentioned.

Or is it?

Today I want to tell you about 5 "invisible" moms in the Bible.  Some of them you've maybe thought of, others you probably haven't.  But, in each case, they were "simply" doing the mundane, everyday mom-duties. 

1. Making Meals - The Mom of the Boy With 2 Fish and 5 Loaves of Bread



You may be familiar with the story. It's in John 6.  Jesus is preaching to a multitude when the day gets long, and he tells the disciples to find the people something to eat.  Andrew, one of the disciples, tells Jesus there's this boy with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread, which is obviously not enough for 5000+ people.  But Jesus blesses the food, and performs a miracle, where there is enough food for everyone, with 12 baskets to spare.

But, do you know why this miracle was even possible?  Because a mama packed her boy a lunch.  Due to her everyday act of love, Jesus was able to feed the multitude.  Sure, I assume had she not packed him a lunch, Jesus would've found another way - but he didn't.  Jesus used something that so many of us do day-in and day-out - feed our children; and showed it to be so much more.



From the moment we find out our babies are on their way, we worry about what is going into their body.  We take prenatal vitamins and try to eat right while we're pregnant.  We breastfeed, or try to find the very best formula money can buy.  As a working mom, I spent my lunch break, and resource break every day for a year holed up in a storage room, pumping that liquid gold.  Once my son moved on to solids, and went to preschool, he was fed a school lunch.  But yet, I got up every morning to make him a fresh fruit salad, so that incase he didn't like it, at least he had something good and nutritious to eat.  I make my kids "fancy snack". I try to make sure every meal they eat has each food group represented.  I get the cheese my daughter likes, and the veggies my son likes. We go to the "other" grocery store to get the yogurt they like. We do these things to keep them sustained, sure.  But it's more than that.  It's how we show our children that we love and care for them.

  


It feels like a basic thing, but Jesus took something so simple, and created a miracle from it. It matters to God - more than we know!



2. Laundry - Hannah, Samuel's Mother



I really love Hannah, and have written about her in the past.  But as I was revisiting her story this verse stood out to me: 1 Samuel 2:18 "In the midst of all this, Samuel, a boy dressed in a priestly linen tunic, served God. Additionally, every year his mother would make him a little robe cut to his size and bring it to him when she and her husband came for the annual sacrifice."

I had never really noticed this before.  I don't recall anywhere else in the Bible where someone sewing a robe made the final cut.  And yet here it is, and it's important enough to be mentioned as part of what molded his character.  In case you are not familiar, in 1 Samuel 1 Hannah is praying and crying in the Tabernacle for God to give her a baby.  She promises to give him to the Lord in return.  Eli the priest finds her, and initially thinks she's drunk, but then realizes what is going on, and tells her God has heard her prayer.  Hannah does in fact become pregnant, nurses and then weans her son (there's the feeding element is again, btw), and then brings him to the tabernacle.  She kept her promise, even though I'm sure it broke her heart.  And although she didn't see him every day, when she came to visit, she always brought him a robe "cut to his size". This indicates precision and forethought.  The wording is so precious.  Clothes and laundry.  Just another thing we moms do, in what seems like a never-ending cycle.  And yet, this act of nurturing was important enough to make it into God's word.  And, by the way, do you know what happened to Hannah in return?  God blessed she and her husband with more children.  Not that they could ever take Samuel's place.  But what a comfort it must've been to not find her arms empty again.  



3. Keeping the Tiny Humans Alive - Jochebed, Moses' Mother




Have you seen those mugs that say, "Today's To Do List: Keep the Tiny Humans Alive"?  I think it's hilarious, because I feel like I'm always saving my kids from themselves.  That's why people child-proof! When they bump their heads, we call the doctor.  When they are determined to jump off the furniture, we explain to them why that's NOT a great idea.  Or at least put a pillow in the landing zone. 



Well, Jochebed had to ACTUALLY keep her tiny human alive.  The Pharaoh was feeling threatened by the Jews, so he had all the baby boys killed (Exodus 1:22).  First she hid him, for 3 months!  (Imagine if he was colicky!) Then, she created an ingenious, waterproof basket, and placed him in the Nile. How her heart must've ached!  But Pharaoh's daughter found him, Moses' sister suggested a wet nurse she knew (their mother), and so Jochebed got to keep her son a little while longer.  Although not portrayed this way in stories like the Prince of Egypt, the language in the Bible suggests that Moses knew who she was, and kept in touch with his biological family - because his clever and loving mama wouldn't give up.




4. Hopes and Dreams - Bathsheba, Solomon's Mother



I've always had a soft spot for Bathsheba.  Yes, she and David had an affair, but I feel like, in that day and age, if the king decides he's going to sleep with you, and your husband is out of town and isn't there to kick his butt, there isn't much room to say no.  Anyway, they have an affair which results in a baby, who sadly dies. (2 Samuel 11-12) Later, David and Bathsheba have another baby - Solomon.  As David is getting old, one of his other sons, Adonijah crowns himself king without his father's blessing or anointing.  Nathan the prophet convinces Bathsheba to go to David, and remind him of his promise to have Solomon as his successor.  So Bathsheba goes before David to plead her son's case. In the end David names Solomon his heir, and Nathan anoints him.  




Somehow, I missed this part of the story, until working on this piece.  It wasn't like nowadays, where you have a family meeting.  Remember how risky it was for Esther to go before the king?  Judging by the tone in this passage (1 King 1), it would seem that we are dealing with a very similar situation.  So, Bathsheba risked it all to make sure that her son got what was rightfully his, and God's plan for his life. 

How many times as mamas do we set our own needs or comforts aside for our kids' dreams?  The countless hours sitting at practice, or late nights studying for tests?  Or pursuing recommendations, proof-reading essays?  




Moms have been doing it since the beginning of time.  And God thought it was important enough to highlight in the story of Bathsheba fighting for her son.



5. Patience and Active Parenting - Mary, Jesus' Mother



Okay, so this mama is definitely not invisible.  But today I want to focus on her parenting, specifically.  Remember the story, of when young Jesus stays behind in Jerusalem, and his parents don't know where he is?  When they finally find him, this is what goes down: (Luke 2:48) "And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?” And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart."




I always loved that last sentence, it's very poetic.  First off, I'm impressed that it says that she "said" to him.  Had it been me, it would've said she "screeched" at him.  That's the patient part.  So, this is the correction portion.  She doesn't just say, "Oh yay, we found you!"  No, she tells him that he caused his parents great distress.  Jesus responds (which I used to take as Jesus talking back, but I don't think that was the case) saying he was in his Father's house.  They take him home, and it says he was "submissive" to them.  I mean, yeah, he was Jesus, but still.  I think that part is important.  




He was obedient to them, which implies there was something to be obedient ABOUT.  This means there were rules and expectations in their household.  This shows active parenting and involvement on Mary's part. And then that last sentence: his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. This shows that her heart was tuned towards him, which I love.




So, sweet mama plugging through your everyday routine, thinking it doesn't matter, no one cares or notices.  Stories like these in the Bible are made possible because of mothers just like you.  Because of mothers' daily devotion and sacrifice.





So keep on keeping on.  God is noticing, and it matters to Him.  In each of these stories, the common denominator, is that God didn't forget about these mothers, and He hasn't forgotten about you, either.  So, happy Mother's Day! Especially on those days you feel like "just a mom", because every little thing you do matters. To those tiny humans surrounding you, and also to God.




Saturday, April 24, 2021

How To Host A Zoom Baby Shower

Although life in parts of the world is starting to go back to normal, there are many of us who are still dealing with strict lockdown measures which make getting together for something like a baby shower near impossible.



That is the situation I found myself in this month.

My dear friend is expecting her first baby. Although she lives here in Europe, she is from Canada, and had always really looked forward to having a baby shower of her own. As we began planning for the festivities, the lockdown measures started to change weekly, and we found ourselves up against the date, but under restrictions that would not allow public gatherings. Additionally, my mama friend is naturally trying to stay healthy leading up to her due date, and so we were trying to avoid any unnecessary risks before her big day.


So, rather reluctantly at first, we switched gears, and decided to make it a "Zoom Baby Shower".

I wasn't sure that we could pull it off, but it ended up being incredibly successful, so I though that I would share with you some of the things that I did, in the hopes that if you find yourself in a similar situation, that you will be able to create your own fun, and make the sweet mama-to-be feel special and loved.

1. Scheduling a Zoom Meeting

The first thing you are going to need to do, is decide on a date and time for your Zoom call. If you don't already have one, create a free Zoom account, and follow their very easy steps to create a meeting. Once you've done that, you can send the link to any invitees. You could create an e-invite, or an invitation PDF and send the link along with it.

2. Party in a Box



One of the main components of the Zoom Baby Shower was something I called "party in a box". Basically, the idea was, that the box would contain everything the person would need to have a party at home. You (or mama-to-be) can choose a theme, and go crazy!



Mine included:
1 paper plate
1 napkin
1 balloon
1 themed cookie
1 white onesie cookie
1 edible marker
1 cakesicle

Other ideas:
stickers, BINGO cards, "mommy or daddy" questionnaire, candy, juice box, etc. 




I made elephant cookies following the recipe steps I used for my llama cake, as well as onesie ones. For the onesies, I only iced them in white, so that every one could then "design" a onesie with the marker I included in the box. It made for a fun activity we could all do "together" on Zoom.




For the cakesicles I made two 9-inch cake layers using this chocolate cupcake recipe. I love it, because it tastes almost like a brownie! 
I also saved about 2 tbsp buttercream frosting from the last time I decorated a cake. I found some cakesicle moulds on Amazon, watched a lot of tutorials on Youtube, and set to work. Leave a comment below, if you'd like to see a more in-depth tutorial for the cakesicle! That might be a fun follow-up post!



I baked and prepped everything ahead of time, kept them in the freezer, then packaged everything in boxes the day before the party, and my friend and her husband delivered them to her friends the day before the party. We asked them to keep their boxes in the fridge to avoid anything getting melted and ruined.
I made personalized labels for each box, tied them with some yarn, and added a tassel that matched the garland (see further down) I made, to really make it feel like the party came to them.

When mama-to-be delivered the cookies, the guests also gave her any gifts or cards that they had for her to open at the party.


3. "Setting the Scene"

This is my friend's first baby, so I really wanted her to get the full baby shower experience. The wall that we normally have our TV on is a great dark gray color and gets good light, so it's where I decided to set up some sort of backdrop. 









My backdrop included:
1 ballon arch
1 tassel garland (tassels are super easy to make, and are fun and whimsical)
2 elephant pull toys (the company sent on damaged one and sent a replacement, but didn't require me to send the chipped one back, so I used them both as decor)
gift section
2 chairs
some flowers (I decided to go with potted calla lilies, because my friend also just moved, so they are a great housewarming gift, too)
desserts
computer

Other ideas:
banner, poster, maternity photos, a screen with a slideshow going, etc.


4. How to actually HOST the Zoom Baby Shower

Think about who your guests are, and try to tailor the meeting towards them. Here are some examples of what I tried to think about and be mindful of.


- For this baby shower, I had people calling in from 3 different countries, and the attendees were of different nationalities/traditions. So, I couldn't do things like "the baby name game", or "the price is right", or something like "describe your favorite children's book".

- Not everyone knows one another.

- Not everyone speaks the same language. (I asked one sweet friend to please be gracious enough to translate for people. This inevitably made things a little longer, but made it so everyone felt a part of things.)

- We have about an hour.

- We have about 13 people attending.

Keeping those things in mind, this was the schedule I came up with:

5 minutes - Welcome everyone, explain the "party in a box"-es, invite them to open them up, and decorate their onesie cookies.

25 minutes - Introductions - I asked every lady to take turns introducing themselves, tell us how they know the mama-to-be, and one thing about her that tells them that she will be a wonderful mommy! 

10 minutes - "Help Mama" scavenger hunt. (I knew I didn't want our party to be game-heavy, what with the translation, and different cultures mingling. BUT I did want to engage our guests, and this game was perfect!) Explain to your guests, that the purpose of the game is to help our mama-to-be! In each round you will be describing an imaginary "emergency", then they'll need to go find the "thing" that mama needs. At the end of each round, the last ? people (we did 2) were out, and did not advance to the next round. The person who successfully helped mama with each emergency (i.e. made it back to their screen with the needed item in each round) wins!

These were our scenarios:
"Oh, no! Baby is hungry find him a bottle! It can be any kind of bottle!"
"Okay, now baby is cold, find him a blanket!"
"Baby is getting bored, quick, get him a toy!"
"We're on the move, find something to carry baby in!"
"Baby's skin is getting dry, lets get him some lotion!"
"Oops, baby has a blow out diaper, he needs a bath! Quick, find him some soap!"

It was AWESOME! Everyone got involved, they were super creative with their solutions, and it was a fun way to create a party atmosphere.

10-15 minutes - opening gifts (don't forget to have mama hold them up to the camera)

5 minutes - Close time together and pray over mama. (Of course, if you aren't religious, just skip that last part.)



This was my first time hosting a Zoom meeting at all, so I was a little anxious about how it would all go, but honestly, it could not have gone better! Everyone had a lovely time, my friend felt celebrated, and some very sweet memories were made!

Although a "Zoom Baby Shower" may not be ideal, for many of us these types of compromises are a reality, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun with it!