Just A Mom

Never have I felt more like "just a mom" than this year.

With the lockdowns, and distance learning, no eating out, no playdates, and no going anywhere - it has just been a lot of mundane, and a lot of simply surviving.

I was feeling reflective, and looked back on some of the things I'd written about motherhood in the past, and came across another time I'd felt like "just a mom", and what I had written 5 years ago still rang true, so I thought I would share these thoughts with you in case you needed to read them, too.

Being a mom - especially a mom during a global pandemic - can feel like an invisible and thankless job. It can be hard to feel like others can relate to us, and so many things that are out there as resources for people don't apply to us. Sometimes, it can feel like that with the Bible too. It's full of prophets, kings, a queen or two, male disciples, soldiers... you get the picture. Most of the people we read about are men, and even when it IS a woman, her motherhood - or at least the minutia of her motherhood - isn't mentioned.

Or is it?

Today I want to tell you about 5 "invisible" moms in the Bible.  Some of them you've maybe thought of, others you probably haven't.  But, in each case, they were "simply" doing the mundane, everyday mom-duties. 

1. Making Meals - The Mom of the Boy With 2 Fish and 5 Loaves of Bread

You may be familiar with the story. It's in John 6.  Jesus is preaching to a multitude when the day gets long, and he tells the disciples to find the people something to eat.  Andrew, one of the disciples, tells Jesus there's this boy with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread, which is obviously not enough for 5000+ people.  But Jesus blesses the food, and performs a miracle, where there is enough food for everyone, with 12 baskets to spare.

But, do you know why this miracle was even possible?  Because a mama packed her boy a lunch.  Due to her everyday act of love, Jesus was able to feed the multitude.  Sure, I assume had she not packed him a lunch, Jesus would've found another way - but he didn't.  Jesus used something that so many of us do day-in and day-out - feed our children; and showed it to be so much more.

From the moment we find out our babies are on their way, we worry about what is going into their body.  We take prenatal vitamins and try to eat right while we're pregnant.  We breastfeed, or try to find the very best formula money can buy.  As a working mom, I spent my lunch break, and resource break every day for a year holed up in a storage room, pumping that liquid gold.  Once my son moved on to solids, and went to preschool, he was fed a school lunch.  But yet, I got up every morning to make him a fresh fruit salad, so that incase he didn't like it, at least he had something good and nutritious to eat.  I make my kids "fancy snack". I try to make sure every meal they eat has each food group represented.  I get the cheese my daughter likes, and the veggies my son likes. We go to the "other" grocery store to get the yogurt they like. We do these things to keep them sustained, sure.  But it's more than that.  It's how we show our children that we love and care for them.

  

It feels like a basic thing, but Jesus took something so simple, and created a miracle from it. It matters to God - more than we know!

2. Laundry - Hannah, Samuel's Mother

I really love Hannah, and have written about her in the past.  But as I was revisiting her story this verse stood out to me: 1 Samuel 2:18 "In the midst of all this, Samuel, a boy dressed in a priestly linen tunic, served God. Additionally, every year his mother would make him a little robe cut to his size and bring it to him when she and her husband came for the annual sacrifice."

I had never really noticed this before.  I don't recall anywhere else in the Bible where someone sewing a robe made the final cut.  And yet here it is, and it's important enough to be mentioned as part of what molded his character.  In case you are not familiar, in 1 Samuel 1 Hannah is praying and crying in the Tabernacle for God to give her a baby.  She promises to give him to the Lord in return.  Eli the priest finds her, and initially thinks she's drunk, but then realizes what is going on, and tells her God has heard her prayer.  Hannah does in fact become pregnant, nurses and then weans her son (there's the feeding element is again, btw), and then brings him to the tabernacle.  She kept her promise, even though I'm sure it broke her heart.  And although she didn't see him every day, when she came to visit, she always brought him a robe "cut to his size". This indicates precision and forethought.  The wording is so precious.  Clothes and laundry.  Just another thing we moms do, in what seems like a never-ending cycle.  And yet, this act of nurturing was important enough to make it into God's word.  And, by the way, do you know what happened to Hannah in return?  God blessed she and her husband with more children.  Not that they could ever take Samuel's place.  But what a comfort it must've been to not find her arms empty again.  

3. Keeping the Tiny Humans Alive - Jochebed, Moses' Mother

Have you seen those mugs that say, "Today's To Do List: Keep the Tiny Humans Alive"?  I think it's hilarious, because I feel like I'm always saving my kids from themselves.  That's why people child-proof! When they bump their heads, we call the doctor.  When they are determined to jump off the furniture, we explain to them why that's NOT a great idea.  Or at least put a pillow in the landing zone. 

Well, Jochebed had to ACTUALLY keep her tiny human alive.  The Pharaoh was feeling threatened by the Jews, so he had all the baby boys killed (Exodus 1:22).  First she hid him, for 3 months!  (Imagine if he was colicky!) Then, she created an ingenious, waterproof basket, and placed him in the Nile. How her heart must've ached!  But Pharaoh's daughter found him, Moses' sister suggested a wet nurse she knew (their mother), and so Jochebed got to keep her son a little while longer.  Although not portrayed this way in stories like the Prince of Egypt, the language in the Bible suggests that Moses knew who she was, and kept in touch with his biological family - because his clever and loving mama wouldn't give up.

4. Hopes and Dreams - Bathsheba, Solomon's Mother

I've always had a soft spot for Bathsheba.  Yes, she and David had an affair, but I feel like, in that day and age, if the king decides he's going to sleep with you, and your husband is out of town and isn't there to kick his butt, there isn't much room to say no.  Anyway, they have an affair which results in a baby, who sadly dies. (2 Samuel 11-12) Later, David and Bathsheba have another baby - Solomon.  As David is getting old, one of his other sons, Adonijah crowns himself king without his father's blessing or anointing.  Nathan the prophet convinces Bathsheba to go to David, and remind him of his promise to have Solomon as his successor.  So Bathsheba goes before David to plead her son's case. In the end David names Solomon his heir, and Nathan anoints him.  

Somehow, I missed this part of the story, until working on this piece.  It wasn't like nowadays, where you have a family meeting.  Remember how risky it was for Esther to go before the king?  Judging by the tone in this passage (1 King 1), it would seem that we are dealing with a very similar situation.  So, Bathsheba risked it all to make sure that her son got what was rightfully his, and God's plan for his life. 

How many times as mamas do we set our own needs or comforts aside for our kids' dreams?  The countless hours sitting at practice, or late nights studying for tests?  Or pursuing recommendations, proof-reading essays?  

Moms have been doing it since the beginning of time.  And God thought it was important enough to highlight in the story of Bathsheba fighting for her son.

5. Patience and Active Parenting - Mary, Jesus' Mother

Okay, so this mama is definitely not invisible.  But today I want to focus on her parenting, specifically.  Remember the story, of when young Jesus stays behind in Jerusalem, and his parents don't know where he is?  When they finally find him, this is what goes down: (Luke 2:48) "And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?” And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart."

I always loved that last sentence, it's very poetic.  First off, I'm impressed that it says that she "said" to him.  Had it been me, it would've said she "screeched" at him.  That's the patient part.  So, this is the correction portion.  She doesn't just say, "Oh yay, we found you!"  No, she tells him that he caused his parents great distress.  Jesus responds (which I used to take as Jesus talking back, but I don't think that was the case) saying he was in his Father's house.  They take him home, and it says he was "submissive" to them.  I mean, yeah, he was Jesus, but still.  I think that part is important.  

He was obedient to them, which implies there was something to be obedient ABOUT.  This means there were rules and expectations in their household.  This shows active parenting and involvement on Mary's part. And then that last sentence: his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. This shows that her heart was tuned towards him, which I love.

So, sweet mama plugging through your everyday routine, thinking it doesn't matter, no one cares or notices.  Stories like these in the Bible are made possible because of mothers just like you.  Because of mothers' daily devotion and sacrifice.

So keep on keeping on.  God is noticing, and it matters to Him.  In each of these stories, the common denominator, is that God didn't forget about these mothers, and He hasn't forgotten about you, either.  So, happy Mother's Day! Especially on those days you feel like "just a mom", because every little thing you do matters. To those tiny humans surrounding you, and also to God.

3 Things I've Learned About The Nature of God Since Becoming a Mama

There are Mommy blogs out the wazoo.  All over the Internet.  There are suggestions on how to sleep-train, how to help a strong-willed child learn boundaries, meal ideas, etc.  I read enough of them, to know that some of them are helpful, some not so much, but regardless, the internet is full of them.

This is not a how-to.  This is not a step-by-step instructional.  This is the lamentation of someone who found a new love and understanding of her Heavenly Father, through the insurmountable blessing that is her sweet baby boy.

I gave my life to Christ when I was 3 years old.  Although I've made mistakes, and we all do, I have had a close relationship with Him for as long as I can remember.  I talk to Him about my day, thank Him for the little things (like the sweet smell of Aidan's head after a bath, his little gapped toothed smile, and his chubby hands), and am frequently moved to tears when I think about all His goodness.  Just like with any longterm relationship, even when you love a person, it may seem sometimes that you know most everything about them.  Not that you're bored, but you find yourself in a comfortable place, not really expecting to be surprised.

And then, in the middle of a battle of wills with a little blonde despot, God reveals himself in a new way.  And my eyes are opened, and I am surrounded by a fresh adoration and sense of wonder.

These are the 3 things I've learned about the nature of God since becoming a Mama.

1. The Cracker

Aidan is a very verbal little boy (wonder where he got that from?!).  He tells me "snack" when he's hungry, "all done" when he's done, "please" and "thank you", and of course the toddler war cry, "NO"! One day, Aidan came to me, and said "snack".  I gave him a cracker, which he happily munched on, until he dropped it, which would've been no big deal (we live by the 5 second rule at our house), but it was already soggy, and then he stepped on it.  I decided to give him a new cracker.  He was holding a toy in one hand - which of course he would not let go of, and the soggy, broken cracker in the other.  I asked him to give me the "yucky" cracker, so I could give him the nice, whole cracker.  He said, "no". I asked him again.  This time he said "NO".  I tried prying it out of his little hand, knowing that the whole cracker would be yummier, if he would just let go of the first cracker.  However, he is a determined little boy, and held on with all his might.  

This is when God reminded me that his plans are better than mine.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

God holds out amazing plans for us, but sometimes we are holding on to our own ideas so tightly, that we refuse to let go, and take from God what He so desires us to have - because He KNOWS it's better. Just like I knew the clean, whole cracker would be better.  He does not force them on us, and if we protest enough, He lets us have our way.  But He would rather we let him have our ratty things, and open our hands to His blessings.

2. The Mother's Day Card 

For Mother's Day this year, I helped Aidan make cards for his grandmothers, as well as one for myself.  While holding his hand making little handprint bouquets, it occurred to me that Aidan needed my help - even to make something for me!  Which lead me to the thought, that we are very similar to a toddler in that aspect.  Even when we do things for God (go into ministry, go on a missions trip, give our tithes and offering...), we still need His blessings and help along the way.  We can't dedicate our lives to God's service if He doesn't give us the grace to wake up in the morning.  We can't give our tithes and offering without the job God gave us first, which provides the funds.  1 Samuel 12:24 touches on this.  "But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you."  It is because of the great things that God has done for us, that we can then do things for the glory of God.

3. The Free "I Love You"

I can't be the only mama in the world, who was dreaming of the day her little nugget would look at her and say "I love you".  So, from the minute he started talking, I would try to coax an "I love you" out of him.  FINALLY, the day came.  I said "I love you", and he said "I you"!  I didn't know I could feel such joy!  Imagine my emotional state, when the next day as we're playing, Aidan comes up to me, gives my knee a kiss, and says "I you"!  I could've flown!  And in that moment, I understood why God gave us free will.  It feels so much better to receive a "free I love you", rather than a "coaxed I love you".  As our Heavenly Father, God wants us to want Him.  He wants us to WANT to spend time with Him, to choose Him over all others - just like we mamas want our babies to love us.  Not because they have to, but because they want to.

Romans 8:38-39 puts it so passionately.  "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is Christ Jesus our Lord."  That kind of love deserves to be loved back.  And to be loved freely, just as freely as it is given.

I thank God for blessing us with Aidan.  Not only because he brings so much joy to our family, or because he is so sweet-natured.  I thank Him because it has brought me closer to God, has made our relationship deeper, and made me want to serve God even more faithfully than before.