When the Cracks Start To Show

I can see this building from my apartment. It's a pretty nondescript building. On most days it just kind of blends in with the surroundings - apartment buildings on one side, a church and cemetery on the other.

But then it rains.

The building becomes patchy, showing all the different, half-thought-through paint jobs. Places where it's maybe had a little work done, places it still needs some, and places where water is clearly seeping in through the walls. 

The building is a mess.

But you wouldn't know it on a sunny day. Rain brings out the building's true character. The rain isn't what caused the (initial) damage. It was there all along - the rain only made it more visible... and caused more destruction.

When life's rainstorms come - that is when who we really are comes to the front. It's easy to look happy and content when the sun is out and the birds are singing. It's easy to be creative at work when everything is great at home. It's easy to stay patient with the kiddos when no one is sick, everyone is getting full nights of sleep, and money isn't a concern. It's easy to go about your day when you're healthy and happy. It's easy to be involved in people's lives around you when you feel fulfilled in your personal life. It's easy to act okay (even if you're not) when - to those around us - everything seems to be going well.

But when things aren't going our way, or tragedy strikes - that's when who we really are on the inside comes to the forefront. It's easy to botch a project at work when you and your spouse are arguing. It's easy to snap and yell at your kids when you're sleep deprived, the kids have the flu, and you just got a credit card bill in the mail. It's easy to get discouraged when you're overwhelmed and exhausted. It's easy to shut people out of your life when it feels like too much of an effort. 

The cracks... they start to show when the rain begins to fall. 

So what do we do? Because the rain is going to come, whether we like it or not. Do we find a giant umbrella? Do we cover ourselves up in scaffolding? Do we hang a "condemned" sign out on the front door?

No. We put the work in to fix the cracks. We use the time when it's not raining to fill in any gaps, rebuild walls, hire professionals if we don't know how to do it ourselves (go see a doctor, talk to a therapist, take a class, join a gym, get your nails done), fix any leaks, and admit that you're "under construction".

 We all have things in our lives that make the "rainy season" hard. That may be anxiety, a heath concern, friction at work, stress at home, or financial troubles; and if we don't deal with these things, they begin to define our character. They leech into how we feel about ourselves, how we treat others, how we relate to God and the world around us.

Thankfully, the answers don't lie within ourselves.  Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Psalm 46:1-3 says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." 
Contrary to common misconception, nowhere in the Bible does it say "God won't give you more than you can handle." There are plenty of times where God gives us more than we can handle. In fact, we are supposed to get to a point where we realize that we can't handle it. We were never meant to handle it. We were meant to give it over to God. God is the one who is there to carry those things that just feel to heavy and like they are going to crack our foundation. That is why we are called to build our "house"/our lives, on the rock.

Matthew 7 tells us the story of two men; one wise man who built his house on the rock, the other a foolish man who built his house upon the sand. When the rains and floods came, the one that was built on the rock stood firm, while the one built on the sand collapsed. We are called to be like the wise man, with his foundation on the rock. It is not because of the builder that the house didn't fall, it was because of the strong foundation - Christ.

We are living in a very self-satisfying and self-centered society. There are "Christian" self-help books that barely mention God, let alone leaning on Him rather than our own understanding (girl, your face is washed, move on). If we build all of our hopes and dreams on ourselves... who is there to turn to when the cracks start to form, and it all starts to fall apart?

We all have cracks, bruises and stains. But unless we deal with them, they become real problems that eventual shape and form our character. 

There is a loving and gentle God, who doesn't look at your imperfections as justification to bulldoze you. He takes the hurt and overwhelming feelings, uses them as part of your story, and helps you to become whole again. So, when the cracks start to show, and you can smell the rain in the air, know that you are not alone.

Momming On the Edge...

... of sanity, that is!

Dan has traveled a lot this summer. Like, a lot a lot.

Which leaves me home alone with the kids. Alone. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. It wouldn't be so bad, except our youngest is kind of a handful, especially in the late afternoons and evenings - which happens to be the same time our oldest is also home. (He's at his kindergarten's summer program during the day.) She still isn't consistently sleeping through the night (although it's much better than it was). She cries a lot. She's really needy. And then there's the 5-year-old, who is great, but also... you know, a 5-year-old. There are meals to prepare, clothes to wash, the apartment to clean, kids to keep alive, all while not completely losing it. There are bodily fluids and smeared snacks all over the place it seems. There's crying - and not just from the kids. There are missed showers and crack-mom ponytails. 

My parents are not nearby this summer, and all of my friends here are also mommies of small kids, and facing the same struggles I am.

This has left me feeling pretty lonely and overwhelmed at times this summer. 

And yet, we're surviving.

So, here are my 5 "Momming on The Edge" tips, if you find yourself in a similar situation.

1. Multi-tasking

When my 11 month-old has made a complete mess of herself and the highchair, I stick them both in the shower. Together. I hose down the highchair, plop her out, bathe her, badda-bing, badda-boom, they're both clean. She gets a kick out of it, it's quicker than getting out her baby bath, and the high chair is ready for the next day, too. I'm calling this a win!

2. Easy Meals

I cook. I cook well. My husband cooks better, and does most of the cooking. So when he is out of town, I try to make it as easy on myself as possible. Here are some of my go-to meals, feel free to steal them - 1) spaghetti (enough for leftovers), 2) thicken up some of the remaining sauce (that's in the jar, not made into Bolognese) with some tomato paste, buy toppings and cheese and a pre-made pizza dough - pizza night!!! 3) boneless/skinless chicken breasts and a Patak's simmer sauce - butter or peanut chicken! 4) My kid prefers raw veggies to cooked - score!!! Wash, chop, serve, done! 5) Hot dogs. Done and done. 6) since my son gets a multi-course, nutritional meal at kindergarten, some nights we just have sandwiches - and you know what? He loves it. No need to make it harder than it needs to be.

3. Go Out Or Stay In

Whichever is easier. Don't feel pressure to do something every day, unless that's what you want to do, and it's easier for you. For us, some days it's easier to head into the center, and let the baby take a nap in the stroller, and hope I can get a hot coffee in before she wakes up. Other days I binge watch on Netflix. It's called balance, and I'm here for it.

4. It's Okay To Admit Defeat

One of the Saturdays I was alone, I headed into the city center with the kids. I had grand ideas for the day that included a playground, fun lunch, and adorable "I can do this" selfies. Jocie wouldn't fall asleep as I planned, but I sat down at a cafe for a coffee anyway. Aidan was on a fish statue/jungle gym thingy right next to me. Jocie was screaming at me for a snack, and Aidan was asking if he could have an ice cream, and I was so overwhelmed, I knocked my coffee into my lap, after only getting one sip. (see first picture) I let Aidan get his ice cream, paid for everything, got up, and scrapped the plans I had for the rest of the day. I looked at Aidan and said, "I am wet, uncomfortable and embarrassed. We're gonna head home now." So, we bought sandwiches, went home, changed into jammies (it was like 11 am), watched TV and called it a day. But the kids were alive, they were fed, and actually pretty excited to just hang out at home. So... yeah. Sometimes you just have to admit defeat, and be okay with it.

5. Loosen Up With the Rules

We're kind of sticklers about bedtime. But when it's just me, and I'm trying to get the baby to sleep, I'm not getting hung up on what time Aidan goes to bed. It's never later than 8:30 anyway, and it's summer, so... I'm giving myself a break on that one. He wants a snack, even though he just ate? Fine, whatever, here's some pop corn. Jocie doesn't want to lay down long enough for a diaper change AND clothes? Fine, chill in a diaper. It's hot anyway. You want a donut after school? You promise not to whine about taking a shower if I get you one? Super, the donut's all yours.

This obviously does not reflect our normal, everyday routine. But, in an effort to all be alive and well when Dan gets home, these are some of the coping skills we've picked up.

The point is, if you're at a place in your life where getting by and surviving equals winning, stop beating yourself up about it. Today, after we got Aidan a donut after school, he said "this is the best day ever"! It's clearly not "the best day ever", but to his mind it is, because mommy was happy, and he had icing dripping off his fingers.

So, if you find yourself "momming on the edge" today, know you're not alone, and this too shall pass.

6 New Book Lover's Favorites

Our family loves books.

It almost seems to be written into our DNA. My Gran wrote books, my mom was a voracious reader, my brother studied journalism and has written a book of poetry, I... taught kids how to read? Lol. The point is - we love books! So today is for us. Today is National Book Lovers Day!

So here are some of my "new" favorite children's books! 

1. Home by Carson Ellis                                   

As a family for whom the concept of "home" can be a little fluid or even confusing at times, this book is a great reminder that homes look different for everyone. It is beautifully illustrated - so much so, that I actually have it displayed, rather than hiding on a shelf. It invokes a kind of thoughtfulness, which I appreciate. 

2. We Are The Gardeners by Joanna Gaines

Yes, I'm on the Joanna Gaines bandwagon, and I don't care! We love this book and how it sweetly follows a family's journey into the ups and downs of gardening. Since we read the book, my son has been on the lookout for worms, a.k.a. detectives of the soil. Again, this book has lovely illustrations in somewhat muted colors.

3. Island Boy by Barbara Cooney

This is the perfect book for those of you out there with boys who have sensitive souls. It paints a beautiful picture of a full and simple life lived by the ocean. I'm a sucker for illustrations, and once again the pictures are breathtaking. We have this book up on a (reachable) shelf in our son's room, and I often catch my eyes resting on the face of the sweet boy on the cover.

4. BabyLit Sense and Sensibility

We really love the BabyLit books! They are board book primers based on some of the classics - such as The Jungle Book, Sherlock Holmes, Emma, The Secret Garden, etc. Each one has a theme, such as "opposites" or "numbers". I honestly can't recommend these highly enough!

5. The Honeybee and the Robber by Eric Carle

I am a big fan of Eric Carle! When starting to plan our little girl's 1st birthday party, I knew I wanted it centered around one of his books, just like her big brother's. I'm on kind of a "honeybee" kick, so I was thrilled to find this interactive book! I don't think it's been printed many times, as I was only able to find used ones of it on Amazon. The copy I bought was in wonderful shape, looked as good as new!

6. She Persisted Around the World by Chelsea Clinton

I was so thrilled when my mom got this book for us! I loved the original She Persisted, and was eager to read the "Around the World" edition. I was very happy to see Malala Yousafzai, one of my personal heroes in it. This is a terrific book for both boys and girls, to see the kind of impact you can have when you won't take "no" for an answer.

So, there you have it. From one bibliophile to hopefully another - what are some of your favorite books you've recently discovered? 

Early literacy is so important. There are numerous studies that show that children who are exposed to books from a young age grow up to be stronger readers, more empathetic, have a healthy imagination, and enjoy reading into their adulthood.

Reading allows us, as well as our children to travel to places they couldn't otherwise. It teaches them to look at people and situations from a different point of view. It opens their minds to new possibilities - what a beautiful gift to give our children.

So, celebrate today by curling up with a new book, or an old favorite. You can't go wrong. 

8 Easy Ways To Reduce Your Plastic Usage

It's Plastic Free July! 

While we are not plastic free, there are a few things that we do to try to limit our plastic usage. Living in Slovenia, we've learned a few things. Also, the trash system here is just amazing - yes, recycling is mandatory, but it is so efficient that the trash plant is off the grid and is self-sufficient, because they run it off of the bio fuel from the bio waste/compost. Wow!

By now, we should all know that plastic pollution is a huge crisis - especially when it comes to our oceans. We should each be trying to do our part. Here are some practical things you can do to take some of those first steps.

1. More Joy Dish Cloths

A local store here in Ljubljana carries these, and we gave them a try last month. This dish rag (which you would use instead of a sponge - which are big polluters) is great! It's made by a Finnish company  and you can find it on Amazon. You can wash it in the washing machine as needed, it does a great job washing dishes, after you use it, you just hang it up on your dish rack (or wherever), and as it dries it hardens back up. Once it's given you all it can, you can cut it up, and throw it in your bio waste (or regular trash, if you live somewhere that doesn't have you sort trash), and it'll biodegrade in 24 weeks!

2. HALO Coffee Pods

We have a Nespresso coffee machine. For a while, we were collecting the Nespresso coffee pods and returning them to the store, but it was tedious, and smelled really bad, lol. So last week we decided to give these a try. Now, I'll be honest, they're not cheap, so we haven't made a full switch, but I feel like they're the future of these coffee pod systems. Their coffee pods are fully compostable - as well as their packaging! Even the plastic-looking-not-plastic wrapper the box comes in! (The only thing that has to go in the recycling is the box it was mailed in.) So, you can "plant" the pod in the soil of one of your plants (caffeine is good for them), throw it in your regular trash or bio waste, and it'll decompose in 4 weeks. AND the coffee tastes great!

3. Stainless Steal Straws

More and more places are banning plastic straws (and if you truly feel like your civil liberties are being taken away over straws, I suggest you Google search "persecution", in might put it into perspective). We have about 10 of them, and love using them. I like this set, because it comes with a little pouch to take it with you, so you can have it with you on the go!

4. LUSH

About 4 months ago we switched most of our shower products to LUSH products. A big change was their shampoo bar. It comes wrapped in paper, and you can buy a little metal case to store it in (easier for air travel, as it can be in your carry-on). We weren't crazy about their conditioner bar, so we switched to their liquid one. That defeats the purpose, you say? Not so! They encourage you to return the bottles, and they reuse them. If you take in 5, you get a face mask! I'm currently at 3, and saving away! I also really like their lotions!

5. Bee's Wrap

I LOVE my Bee's Wrap food storage! It's organic cotton coated in bee's wax and resin. I use them to wrap fruit, veggies, bread, snacks... they last for a year, even after multiple uses. Once they no longer "stick" (by the warmth of your hand), you'll know they're done. At this time, you can compost it, or use it as a fire starter! There is now a Slovene brand that just started, and I'm excited to try theirs once current ones are used up.

6. Compostable/Decomposable Kids' Dishes

We have both of these kids' dishes, and love them! The first picture is from By Lille Vilde. They are made out of rice, and are compostable. Although they are dishwasher safe, it says that they last longer if you handwash them. So we do. :)

The second set is by Petit Collage. They are made from bamboo, and the same things apply as the other set. They are super cute, and it's always nice to look over and not see plastic. :)

7. Wooden Toys

 We love fun toys at our house! Of course, a number of them are plastic, but we've found some companies who make wooden toys that we LOVE. Here are some of them:
MilaniWood is an Italian company that somehow managed to merge toys and games to where you can use free play, but also there are games with instructions for each set.

Le Toy Van has the CUTEST doll houses, and I can't wait to get our little girl one!

Viga makes really cute and unique toys - especially kitchen and food stuff. We have their macarons and donuts, and they are favorites!

You've probably seen the ads for the Kiwi Co monthly subscription crates. They encourage kids to STEAM projects (science, technology, engineering, art and mathematics) at their specific age level. I've been dying to try them, but the international shipping is a killer. We got a 50% off coupon. so we tried it, and are HUGE fans! You should totally do this!


8. Reusable Produce Bags

These produce bags are a really simple way to limit your single-use plastic consumption. Woohoo! :)

And there you have it! These are 8 easy ways to limit your plastic usage this month, and in the future. It really isn't that hard once you start, and if you try new, eco-friendly products every few months, you never know what you might find!

Bonus:
+ switch out your Q-tips for ones with paper or bamboo sticks

Renae's Coffee Cake

Full disclosure - I don't know who Renae is. She was my aunt's friend, who apparently made the best coffee cake around. So, my mom got the recipe, which I now have.

So, if somehow, through the inter-webs, Renae finds this recipe, she'll see that I've given credit where credit is due, lol.

My mom used to always make this around the holidays, and it was my favorite. Even now when I visit, she makes a point of baking it for me. 

However, I am not always at my mom's house. :) and sometimes I want that pecan-y brown sugary goodness when it's NOT a holiday.

So, I got the recipe from my mom, and now I can share it with you! 

You'll Need:

- Standing mixer

- 8x12 inch pan
- Non-stick spray

Ingredients:

Batter:

- 1/2 cup room temperature butter

- 3/4 cup sugar

- 1 tsp vanilla extract

- 3 beaten eggs

- 2 cups flour

- 1 tsp baking powder

- 1 tsp baking soda

- 1 cup sour cream

Streusel Topping:

- 6 tbs butter melted, and allowed to cool for 20 minutes

- 1 cup brown sugar

- 2 tsp cinnamon

- 1 cup chopped nuts (pecans are my favorite, but walnuts work well, too)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 F/175 C. Generously spray your pan with non-stick spray.

2. Cream butter and sugar together in the (large) bowl of your standing mixer.

3. Add in eggs and vanilla. Allow to "whip" for a few minutes.

4. In a separate bowl combine dry ingredients - flour, baking powder and baking soda.

5. Alternate adding some flour mixture and sour cream to the batter. Mix thoroughly after adding each new ingredient until it's all been combined. The trick to making this cake moist is mixing it a lot. :) It'll lighten in color and become fluffy.

6. In a separate bowl combine the ingredients for the streusel topping.

7. Pour half the batter in the pan, and top with half of the streusel. Then pour the remaining batter on top, and cover in the leftover streusel.

8. Bake for 30-40 minutes, or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. I baked mine for 35 minutes, and it could've handled another couple. The top will get pretty brown, but it's supposed to. If you feel like the top of your cake is getting too brown, you can always put a sheet of aluminum foil on the top to keep that part from burning, while baking the inside a little more.

9. Allow to cool just a bit, and enjoy warm, with a cup of coffee. It's good later, too... but it's heavenly when it's warm!

Store in an airtight container for 2-3 days.

Ahhhh. Sweet serenity.

Eggless Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Buttercream Frosting

Last night, my husband was musing that he was craving some chocolate cake. I love him dearly, and our anniversary was this week, so I happily made my man a cake. :)

The only problem was, that our son had eaten the last two eggs for breakfast that morning, and grocery stores are actually closed here on Sunday afternoon. So, I looked up some "eggless" chocolate cake recipes, and came across one I liked, didn't QUITE wait until it fully cooled, put on some delicious chocolate buttercream frosting - and it was divine! It was very spur of the moment, so my pictures aren't great - but trust me! This is going to become a go-to in our house!

You'll need:

- standing mixer

- 8x8 inch pan

- baking paper

- non-stick spray

Ingredients:

Cake:

- 1 1/2 cups flour

- 1 cup sugar

- 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (I actually used some semi-sweet hot chocolate mix, and it was awesome)

- 1/2 tsp salt

- 1 tsp baking soda

- 1 tsp vanilla extract

- 1 tsp white vinegar

- 1/3 cup vegetable oil

- 1 cup water

Frosting:

- 3/4 cup room temperature butter

- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

- pinch of salt

- 2 1/4 cup powdered sugar

- 3 tbs sweet and condensed milk

- about 4 tbs semi-sweet hot chocolate mix

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 F / 175 C. Line 8x8 cake pan with baking paper, and spray with non-stick spray.

2. Combine dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa powder, salt, and baking soda) in the bowl of your standing mixer.

3. In a separate bowl, combine vanilla, vinegar, oil and water.

4. Turn mixer on medium speed, and pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients. Mix until all the lumps are completely done.

5. Pour batter into pan, and bake for 30-35 minutes (24 minutes for convection oven.)

6. Bake until toothpick inserted in middle comes out clean. Allow to fully cool.

7. For frosting, cream together butter, salt and vanilla extract, then gradually add powdered sugar. Add sweet and condensed milk and chocolate powder. Whip until fluffy.

8. Allow cake to fully cool (or don't, haha!) and frost the cake.

This cake stayed super moist, and delicious! It's definitely going to be a go-to! 

Yummm!

Mixed Summer Fruit Galette

There are some tings that get me in the mood to bake... like gorgeous fruit sitting in a basket on a counter. I wanted something quick and delicious, since my brother was visiting - and remembered my Saturn Peach Galette that I made in the Fall, and decided to use it as a launching point.

Ingredients:

1 puff pastry (that you've thawed, and had out of the fridge for 10 minutes-ish)

3 cups (approx.) pitted fruit, sliced thinly (I used nectarines, apricots and Saturn peaches.)

1/3 cup granulated sugar

1/4-1/2 tsp cinnamon (depending on how cinnamon-y you like it)

1/2 tsp lime juice

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

1 egg beaten

Coarse sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 F, or 190 C - or whatever your puff pastry calls for.  (Adjust for convection oven if needed.) Line a baking sheet with baking powder.

2. Wash and slice your fruit into thin slices.

3. In a large bowl, combine them with sugar, cinnamon, lemon juice and vanilla.

4. Roll out your puff pastry onto your baking sheet.

5. Pour the fruit mixture onto the middle of the puff pastry, leaving about an inch around the edge.

6. Roll the edge up over the mixture.

7. Brush the edges with the beaten egg, and sprinkle the coarse sugar on top.

8. Bake in the oven to the specifications on the puff pastry.

9. Take out of oven, allow to cool for a couple of minutes, and enjoy warm.

Spring/Summer Capsule Wardrobe For Boys

Ahhh... Kids. If only they didn't grow so fast! To help not spend exorbitant amount of money on kids’ clothes, to try and declutter, and lessen our consumption of fast fashion, I have been leaning more and more towards the concept of capsule wardrobes. In The Fall, I shared my Back To School Capsule Wardrobe, so now I wanted to share my Spring/Summer one.

Basic Pieces:

- 5 T-shirts (stripes are great, one overall pattern is okay. We also have a couple superhero shirts... thanks grandma, lol.)

- 2 tank tops

- 1 polo

- 1 short-sleeved dress shirt

- 1 long-sleeved shirt

- 1 long-sleeved dress shirt

- 1 pair of pants (whatever still fits from Fall)

- 3-4 pairs of shorts

- Swim trunks (We have an extra pair for "water day" at school.)

Here are some combinations:

Not pictured:

- 3 soft cotton shorts

- 1 pair of Crocs (they can be used as sandals and water shoes)

- 1 pair of rain boots

- 1 pair of tennis shoes

- 1 raincoat (or some other kind of transitional jacket. We got a raincoat, because we walk to school pretty regularly, but if you drive mostly, a leather jacket is also fun.)

- 3-4 pairs of pajamas

- underwear and socks
- sunglasses
- baseball hat

Here is the raincoat.

Tips:

- If your kid likes to slide on his knees like mine, and his sweatpants have holes in them, cut the legs off right above the knee - ta-da!! Easy shorts! I also did this for his pajama pants, and paired them with a complimenting colored plain T-shirt he already had.

- For both of my kids, I have a drawer in their closet that is their "transition" drawer. One half has clothes for them to grow into (things I've bought ahead of time when they were on sale) which I have labelled according to size. The other half are clothes that are from the previous season. So, when Spring/Summer is about to begin, I get out Aidan's clothes from last Spring/Summer to see what still fits him. Whatever doesn't fit gets donated, and of course we keep what fits. This way I'm only buying new things he needs. This year for example, I managed to only buy one pair of new shorts and a couple shirts.

- My son loves superheroes, so of course we have some "outlying" graphic tees. I try really hard to not get too hung up on them, and those are what he wears to school or camp, especially on "fun" days.

Places We Like To Shop:
- H&M - Mainly, we get basics here, such as underwear, pajamas, soft cotton shorts and shirts. They have a "Conscious" line, which we try to buy when we can. The quality can be lacking, but if you stain-stick, and don't tumble dry the T-shirts, you can get quite a lot of wear. Also, you won't feel so bad about cutting them.

- Petit Bateau - This store can be a little pricey, but they have very good sales. We usually shop here when their clothes are on sale, and even buy ahead for the next season. They have an overall nautical theme, which really fits our style.

- Zara Kids - I love their aesthetic and style. Again, they have a "Join Life" line, which is more eco friendly, sustainable and fair-trade. We try our best to buy those things.

- Okaidi - Aidan is tall and slim, and it can be hard to find him pants that fit well.  I really like this brand's pants, especially since they all have an inner adjustable band. Score!

Have you given capsule wardrobes a try? It can be difficult with kids. Have you found any tips or tricks that work for your family? Join the conversation!